Rob's Story
As a young adult male at the age of thirty-two I had
let my anger get the best of me. Combined with alcohol, angry thoughts
turned to a brutal and vicious attack on another human being. As the event
progressed, a man was left lying in a pool of his own blood with
twenty-one stab wounds over his entire body. Now it came time to fess up
to the act itself. After a province wide warrant that had been publicly
broadcasted on television, it was time to turn myself in so all the legal
matters could be taken care of In doing so, I faced the facts that I might
not ever see my own freedom again. Not only my freedom, but also any
family or friends. Sure you can keep in contact through the means of
letter writing, phone calls, or even the odd visit, but it’s just not
the same. Some people even feel as though they have died or even fallen
off the face of the earth when they are sentenced to serve a long period
of time in a federal penitentiary.
Adjusting to the way of prison life for the remainder
of my stay was quite the adventure in itself. Some might say that it is a
true example of culture shock, but for the men and women that had to do
the same, there are many different explanations. First you have to
overcome the fear or fears that one might have in coming to a federal
prison. Then the obvious, you have to learn how to live with other people
that you would normally not associate with out in the community, knowing
that some of them have committed various crimes such as murder and may
have the feelings to do the same or even worse again. Last but least you
have to overcome the feelings that one has in losing the power of freedom
itself Making decisions in what to eat, where to work, or any other day to
day normal decisions are now being made not by yourself, but by the
correctional staff of the federal penitentiary.
While in prison, most people when they first arrive
stick to their beliefs in wanting to stay away from other inmates. As time
passes, things change. The majority begins to have contact with other
inmates forming what they believe is a friendship. What they do not see is
that the majority of the prison inmates are out to do anything possible to
benefit the most for themselves; one minute being a so-called friend, and
then the next, stabbing you in the back. It’s an everyday occurrence. I
must say that this is not the case of every friendship in prison, but it
is the majority. Some get lucky like myself and find what society calls a
true friendship. It was during the summer months, while serving three
years at a federal prison, that I was able to meet a man that I would have
no problem or doubt in calling him my friend. There were no hidden
agendas, just an honest friendship. The beliefs we shared were nothing
short of being accepted by the outside community. Following them allowed
us both together as friends, to pass away the time needed to be spent in
the prison fast and easily. Being bonded in such a way also allowed us to
help one another when times did get hectic, or if other problems arose,
such things like the absence of family and friends on the other side of
the prison walls, out in the community.
When
having everything going well for you in prison it doesn’t take long, or
much to set you on a down hill course. You are already dealing with the
pressures one feels being in a federal prison, and not being out in the
community. So when something arises that is truly drastic, it takes a toll
on you no matter how big and strong you think you are, whether it be
physically or mentally.
Some that have bonded to become really close friends
know already in the beginning, that one day, they will have to be
separated because one of them may be transferred to another prison, or may
even be let out to go back into the community. That is okay, because if
the choice is given, one can always keep in contact either through mail,
or telephone. One however, can never be fully prepared for the loss of a
true friendship, not through release or transfer, but death.
For more information please
contact..
ptbochaplaincy@nexicom.net
Dan Haley
Peterborough Community Chaplaincy
Main office
P.O. Box 235
Peterborough
ON
K9J 6Y8
705-741-4172
(Office)
705-741-4833
(Fax)
Office
E-mail
ptbochaplaincy@nexicom.net
Dan's personal e-mail danhaley@nexicom.net
Web site
www.ptbochaplaincy.org
New
Beginnings (transition house)
953
Clonsilla Ave
K9J 5Y2